The 5 Sides of Intimacy

There's something about our psychological, spiritual, and physical makeup that cries out for intimacy with another. That's because God designed marriage to be the most intimate of all human relationships, in which we share life intellectually, socially, emotionally, spiritually, and physically.
Are you and your spouse intimate in these ways?
Intellectual intimacy. This isn't about discussing highly intellectual ideas. The important thing is discussing your thoughts. They may be thoughts about food, finances, health, crime, work, politics. They reveal something of what's gone on in your mind throughout the day.
Social intimacy. This has to do with spending time around the events of life. Some of these events we experience together; others happen while we're apart and are shared through open communication. Much of life involves doing. When we do things together, we not only develop a sense of teamwork, we also enhance our sense of intimacy.
Emotional intimacy. Feelings are our spontaneous, emotional responses to what we encounter through the five senses. I see the fire truck racing down the road and I feel troubled. You touch my hand and I feel loved. When we share emotions, we build emotional intimacy.
Spiritual intimacy. Often the least excavated of all the foundations of marital intimacy, yet this has a significant impact on the others. It doesn't require agreement of belief on every detail. Instead, we seek to tell each other what's going on in our inner self. It's discussing our thoughts about spiritual realities. The purpose isn't agreement, but understanding.
Physical intimacy. Because men and women are different (long live their differences!), we often come at sexual intimacy in different ways. The husband's emphasis is often on the physical aspects—the seeing, touching, and climax are the focus of his attention. The wife, though, comes to sexual intimacy with more interest in the relationship. To feel loved, appreciated, and treated tenderly brings her great joy. Sexual intimacy requires understanding and responding to these differences.
Practicing intimacyAn essential ingredient of intimacy is allowing your spouse to be himself without striving to conform him to your ideals.
In intimacy, we try to grow closer together, not to eliminate the "otherness," but to enjoy it. Men and women are different and we must not, even with good intentions, seek to destroy those differences.
What keeps us from experiencing intimacy? All of us are egocentric; the world revolves around us. Yet, when we focus on self, we lose intimacy.
The opposite of self-centeredness, then, is love. Love concentrates on the well-being of the spouse. We take time to listen to the thoughts, feelings, and desires of our spouse. We seek to understand and to respond with empathy. We choose to do things with each other, even things that may not be our favorite activities, simply because we want to be with each other.
In the context of such intimacy we become supportive and caring of each other, which builds a stronger, more contented marriage.

Gary D. Chapman material

Deal with it

C. E. Montague sound like a comment on the difficulty of overcoming addiction, when he said, ‘To possess your soul in patience, with all the skin and some of the flesh burnt off your face and hands, is a job for a boy compared with the pains of a man who has lived pretty long in the exhilarating world that drugs or strong waters seem to create and is trying to live now in the first bald desolation created by knocking them off.’

First, we must realise what we are dealing with. It is the mind that has been condition for a long period of time. We should also realised that it is not going to go away in one day since it wasn’t cultivated in one day. We need, understanding of the mind, patience, diligence, discipline and persistence.

Tools to deal with addiction
Understand the human mind: the human mind is a collection of the human experiences. Like a computer, it has strong receptors, which are able to function on their updating data in the storage device during booting section. Your brain can store and recall. Just before sleep concept.
Get enough Patience: To exercise power costs effort and demands courage. That is why so many fail to assert rights to which they are perfectly entitled— because a right is a kind of power but they are too lazy or too cowardly to exercise it. The virtues which cloak these faults are called patience and forbearance. The words of Friedrich Nietzsche
Diligence is required: you need the commitment of a soldier. I say no and I mean NO! I will consistently say no with everything I have until my change come. (Job 14:14-15)
Discipline is non-negotiable: what put you in this condition in the first place is lack of discipline, if you want to get out you must learn it. You must learn to do what you need not what you want. 50% of what our body wants, we don’t need because they are harmful.
Persistence will assist you there: nobody said it would not be painful. There will be days when you will feel like quitting. However, you must realise it is just a passage. A moment in time. It is a weaning process.
You need a life-coach: you need a guide and a guard. Someone you can conferred in and report to. Because of the nature of the human mind, if you were truly addicted, it is almost impossible to pull out of it alone. Talking to your coach is like vomiting the nausea of some cancerous nicotine (your past). When all the vomits are out, your mind will now be normal enough to receive new information.
You need a gym and a field: this indicates both where you can exercise what you will learn and friends or family who are normal and will understand you and encourage you. It also means change of environment, friends and several other habits connected to your addiction.

Practical Ways to Deal with Chronic Addictions

Man is essentially an adapter not an addict. Addiction is alarming because it is not natural. It was the famous Swiss psychiatrist, Carl Jung who said, “Every form of addiction is bad, no matter whether the narcotic be alcohol or morphine or idealism.” When a man is stretch from adaptation into the point of no return, it is not good for that is what makes addiction.

First, what is addiction? Addiction is to become compulsively and physiologically dependent on a habit, which was formed out of a routine, which is now accustomed to and find difficult to break away from. However, addiction is nothing but a routine turned habit that has grown into obsession. Whatever has a beginning will surely have an end. If addiction could be started at all, it could also be managed, controlled and terminated.

People can be addicted to anything, food, sex, drugs, sleep etc. Shirley Chisholm said, ‘It is not heroin or cocaine that makes one an addict, it is the need to escape from a harsh reality. There are more television addicts, more baseball and football addicts, more movie addicts, and certainly more alcohol addicts … than there are narcotics addicts.’ Whatever one is addicted to, was as a result of medicating something with something.”

Some Common Additions
1. Television addicts:…anything TV will do…can’t turn it off.

2. Movie addict:…soap opera, home video etc.

3. Sport/game addicts:…to football, computer game, cards etc

4. Food addicts: here is another addiction that is killing so many today. They just can’t stop, that power to say NO to food is not there. They never stop chewing, anything edible will do. They live to eat, instead of eating to live.

5. Sleep addicts: this is a very common yet subtle addiction. Many call it a necessary habit, yet it is this addiction that separate great men from common men. It was Henry Wadsworth Longfellow who once said, “The heights great men reached and kept were not attained by sudden flight, but they, while their companions slept, were toiling upward in the night.” Very many men who desires greatness cannot do without 8hours sleep a day. Little did they know that they are hooked on sleep and therewith sleeping away their opportunities. Anyone that is hooked to 8hours sleep each day by the time he/she is 50years that person must have spent approximately 9years lying-in-state (sleeping).

6. Sex addicts: if there is any addiction that grow with us as we grow in life it is the sex habit. This is largely because we live presently in a sex-craze world. You ear it, see it, read it, feel it and even live in it. Many will never agree that they are addicted to the act but they can’t denial their addiction to the thoughts which is even the most deadly. Masturbation, foreplay, petting, necking are just the outer manifestations of what our thoughts have mastered. A man who is addicted to sexual thoughts spend endless hours doing nothing but have freaky fantasies, such men are unstable in all their ways.

7. Drug addicts:…from normal drugs to alcohol, narcotics etc.

Above all, one thing we should know about all addictions is that they were grown and it is not impossible to cut them down. Whatever was built can be brought down. The same thing you did to get addicted to drugs is the same thing you did to get addicted to food. It is an unconscious routine that makes an addict.

Watch OUT for more on healing for addictions and the ancient secret of love we have found. Log on to www.sistershouseofesteem.org and subscribe to our NewLetter for FREE.

Women, Family, Business Stress

Sometimes we get stressed out when everything happens all at once. Many things can surface all at once, the kids, bills, business demands, sexual needs etc. it makes you want to ask what about women like Sarah oalin, how do they cope?

Easy, When this happens, take a deep breathe and try to find something to do for a few minutes to get your mind off of the problem. A person can get some fresh air, listen to some music, or do an activity that will give them a fresh perspective on things.

Other times we encounter a scary situation that gets us all upset. When encountering these events, always remember to get all of the facts of the given situation. Gathering the facts can prevent us from relying on exaggerated and fearful assumptions. By focusing on the facts, a person can rely on what is reality and what is not.In dealing with your anxieties, learn to take it one day at a time. While the consequences of a particular fear may seem real, there are usually other factors that can not be anticipated and can affect the results of any situation. We may be ninety-nine percent correct in predicting the future, but all it takes is for that one percent to make a world of difference.